These are the signs of anxiety that are incredibly common yet often overlooked in children.
I have experienced anxiety for as long as I can remember, and my children have shown signs of it as well. Because I’ve lived with anxiety and learned how to manage it, I’ve become familiar with the subtle ways it shows up in kids. Recognizing these signs early can make a big difference in helping children feel understood and supported.
The Top 2 Signs of Anxiety In Children You Probably Missed
Children don’t always have the words to describe how they feel, so anxiety often shows up through behavior or physical complaints. Two common phrases parents hear are especially revealing and deserve attention. Understanding these expressions as possible signals of anxiety helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.
“My stomach hurts.”
One of the most frequent ways anxiety presents in children is through physical symptoms, especially stomachaches. Kids may say they feel sick or think they are going to throw up, and it can be easy to dismiss those complaints if medical causes are not apparent. But anxiety often manifests physically, and the gut is a common place for those sensations to collect.
Think about a time when you were nervous about a big meeting, a job interview, or a flight. That knot in your stomach is the same kind of response children feel. Younger children may not understand that their symptoms are connected to worry, so they simply report pain or nausea. When this happens, a calm, reassuring response helps: acknowledge the discomfort, explain that worry can cause tummy troubles, and offer simple coping tools like deep breathing, a quiet space, or holding a favorite object.
In my family, my daughter often reports belly aches. When medical causes are ruled out, I remind her gently that the feeling is likely her worry and reassure her the sensation will pass. Naming the emotion and validating the experience reduces fear and helps her feel less alone with the sensation.
“I don’t want to go.”
Another common expression that often signals anxiety is refusal to attend activities or to leave the home. When a child says “I don’t want to go,” they may be trying to avoid uncomfortable situations that trigger worry—crowds, noise, unfamiliar social interactions, or performance situations like tests or presentations.
School refusal is a classic early sign. A child with test anxiety or social anxiety might say they simply don’t want to go to school rather than explain the fear behind their refusal. Likewise, a child who suddenly resists an outing like a movie or a party may be trying to stay within a safe, familiar zone where their stress is minimized.
Parents can respond by validating the child’s feelings and gently encouraging gradual exposure to the avoided situation. Helping a child build confidence through small, manageable steps—preparing for the environment, role-playing scenarios, or planning a calm exit strategy—can reduce avoidance and prevent the safe zone from shrinking over time.
What to do…
Recognizing these signs is the first step. Once you see a pattern, practical, compassionate strategies help children develop tools to manage anxiety. Simple techniques include teaching deep-breathing exercises, creating predictable routines, using calming sensory items, and practicing problem-solving for specific worries. Encourage open conversations about feelings and normalize the idea that everyone experiences worry sometimes.
There are also helpful age-appropriate books and workbooks designed to teach children coping skills for anxiety. Titles that focus on worry, emotional regulation, and managing anger or intrusive thoughts can guide parents and children through exercises and discussions in a child-friendly way. Working together on short, consistent activities from such resources can build resilience and reduce the intensity of anxious responses.
When anxiety significantly interferes with daily life—such as persistent stomachaches, school refusal, or avoidance that limits activities—consider seeking guidance from a pediatrician or a child mental health professional. Early support can prevent patterns from becoming entrenched and help children learn lifelong skills for managing stress.
